Memoirs of lockdown.

I write a lot. Not all of it gets published. Many times a lot of the stuff I write ends up in journals or just random notes on my phone/computer, and I sometimes go back to them.

Earlier today, I found myself reading through some of the stuff I wrote during lockdown:

In February of 2020 alone I travelled to Boston, Paris, Cologne, A small town on the Belgian border, Madrid, Barcelona and throughout the Netherlands.

And now, nothing.

Somehow it had become normal to step on two or three different continents in a few short weeks and multiple countries, I mean, why not, right? The food, the cultures, the pictures, the adventures. Our colleagues would joke about their status in different airlines, I always thought it was no joking matter (gold status is not to be taken lightly, haha).

So here we are, I lost track of what wave we are in, isolated from family, friends and even when we do go out I’m starting to feel more and more uncomfortable by doing so because I see people as walking bombs. So, what will be the future of us? What will be the new normal?

The vaccine is finally starting to make it to hospitals, general population and there is hope, but while some aspects seem to be getting better, others seem to be just getting worse. Storming the Capitol, murders in front of cameras, widespread protests, and a longer and longer etc…

I’m not sure how or when we will make it out of this, but if we take one step back, I think we can all agree that this has changed the world for good. For better, or for worse, time will tell. We have learned many valuable lessons, but I can’t help but ask myself if we truly learned them, or if, once we go back to normal -if ever- we will soon forget what all of this was like.

I guess time will tell.

—

Re-reading and re-living the situation in my head, I think back to what we went through, and I think we were in fact, quick to forget just how much of an impact this would all have on us.

I know I’m deeply scarred by what the pandemic meant for me. I was in complete isolation from my family, I managed to travel a bit back and forth, but always cautious - I didn’t want to get anyone sick. As a friend once said “you don’t want to be the one responsible for killing a friend/family member/colleague by accident, right?” And although harsh, it was the terrifying reality we lived in.

I lost count of how many PCR tests I had done. The at home test kits are still frequent now, even when I get a slight sniffle, I still don’t want to be the one responsible for getting anyone sick.

If there’s two good things to recognise about COVID, one for me was that it did offer me the opportunity to spend more time with my wife. For professional reasons, we are living in separate countries, and with offices closed, we got away with spending time in each other’s home country. The second good thing: the chilling realisation of the fragility of life, and how it can all be taken away quickly.

This inspired a new hustle in me, in which excuses are minimised, accountability maximised (on my self) and all projects are tackled with a newfound passion and energy.

In the great words of Fatboy Slim: “We’ve come a long way, baby.” - yet we’re just getting started.